tomorrow i am going to weigh myself. its too late to do it today, i need to do it when i first wake-up. 

i know i lost some weight in the hospital because the food not only was gross but i didnt want to eat enough to have to poop (TMI - sorry). i hate going poo in public bathrooms and thats all they have in the psych ward. 

i need to do something about my weight. if i cant cut maybe i can start compulsively exercising. i have so many cute outfits that i wore when i was thin. 


i will wear them again.

 can i just say that i have probably THE worst headache ever and have had it for FIVE HOURS now!!!!


AND THE ADVIL DOES N O T H I N G !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




and my laptop keeps getting really really hot. 






that is all.

To my favorite American Idol Fierce Bish who was voted off tonight:

 










Work it out, Girl! I still love you <3

So now my favorite boy is Jason Castro:



He has such a sweet voice and a gentle, unassuming personality. He is like the polar opposite of Danny but I love him. And I am a sucker for earthy, dreadie boys *sigh*

Don't let me down Jason!!

American Idol faves???

Mine are:

 
Carly

and



Danny

Yes I know there are stronger singers than Danny but I like his voice and I think he is just precious. In a head-bobbing-snap-oh-no-you-di'int flamboyant kind of way.
Carly I think has the whole package and is the strongest singer in the whole competition. I just hope she never gets voted off in favor of Amanda Overmyer who looks and sounds like she is 50 yrs old with a 2 pack a day habit. 



So who are your current favorites?

 Behind this cut you will find my picks for the Best Dressed, Worst Dressed, Cutest Couple, Cutest Old Person, Finest Italian-American (In honor of my grandparents, who used to pick the best Italian person at every televised event) and finally the "HUH? Why were THEY there?" awards. 

Image heavy but totally worth looking, I promise :)

You will not be disappointed - Jimmy Kimmel and Ben Afflecks hilarious response to Sarah Silverman's video "I'm F*cking Matt Damon".


Coming up later on:

OSCAR SPECIAL POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 I forgot 2 of my very favourite and beautiful singers for my lists. One is from the UK, one is from the US. Both are/were gorgeous and talented as all get out. 




Dusty Springfield. Oh, beautiful late/great Dusty, how could I have forgotten about your blue-eyed soul and gigantic blonde hair?



Melanie. My lovely hippie princess, I can't believe I left you out of any list let alone a "Beautiful People" list. You wrote the song by that name for Christ's sake.


Ok, sorry for the interruption, return to your normal daily activities :)

Okay, here is part two of the two part series. I love English women and anything English, really. So without further ado....

I just saw on the Photobucket homepage that they have a photo category for the 99 hottest women. Lists like this always intrigue me, so I bit. I disagreed with like 97 of the 99.

So I decided to make my own "Hot Women" list. Not 99 of them, that would be silly. Just the women that I consider to be the most beautiful. Now let me preface that by saying I qualify beauty as more than a physical thing. Personality can make someone beautiful and age has nothing to do with the qualifications.


This is just part one of my list. I decided to divide this into UK edition and Everywhere Else edition. I have a thing for British women I guess.

( My 2008 hot women list...... )

This March will make the 3 year anniversary of my nervous breakdown. Happy Birthday, Nervous Breakdown!! I hate you more than you'll ever know!
Some of you may or may not know that I had this breakdown. It happened back when I was living a normal life, i.e. working, driving, interacting with others, leaving the house, acting like regular folks. It's hard to remember what that was like. Especially the working part. I think back and can't believe that I ever had a regular people job. I was a bank teller, something that as a crazy person I can't even fathom. But I did it. And I did it well. I had friends at work, had regular customers that I would talk with, gave lollipops to cute kids, balanced my cash drawer. It just seems so many worlds away. 
Then I started to lose it. I would cry before I got into the car to go to work. I stopped eating and would spend my lunch hour sucking down as many cigarettes as I could, sometimes making it almost through a pack. I begged to be put on the drive-up window so that there would be no human touching, only what can be seen through glass. I refused to sit, instead I would pace all day. I would check the phones to make sure that they had a dialtone at least 30 times throughout the day. I would get so anxious that most days I would vomit. Then I started having almost hourly panic attacks. I would sit alone in the bathroom, crying and thinking any second I would be dead. I would hide in the corner and ignore people who had driven up. I would go entire days refusing to speak. When my manager asked me a question at the daily meeting I started screaming. Blood-curdling screams like I was on fire. Then I stopped showing up to work because I would go to the cemetary and visit the Virgin Mary statue at the gates. I brought her a bagel once, convinced that she was real. My husband found me there one day covered in mud and I have no idea what I did or why I was there. That's when my boss suggested a short term leave of absense so that I could seek out therapy and take time to decompress. I was only supposed to be gone for six months. Now I am on disability and have been out of work for 3 years. 
My life has never been the same and I doubt it ever will. Those three years may as well have been thirty. They have been marred with crippling depression, agoraphobia, fear, hospital stays and more blood than anyone should ever see. 

For the rest of my life I will carry these years around with me. My arms will never let me forget and what's worse they let other people know that I am different and, yes, crazy. I will never be able to go short sleeved without being self concious and without everyone staring and sometimes commenting. 

I have decided that on March 10th (or so) I am going to tell my story. That entry will be friends only but I need to put it out there. It will be LJ-cut so that people have a choice whether they want to see it or not. But at least it will be off of me. My story will explain how regular girls become crazy ones. And I need to let everyone know that it can happen to the most normal, fearless girls. And that I am not as crazy as I let myself believe. 

Man, I am going to have to post a lot of light hearted shit in the meantime....... 

 Yesterday I watched:




Okay, the premise at first seems so outlandish and dumb - a painfully shy man finds companionship in a "love doll" and thinks that she is real. But it was not stupid. It was so touching, the way the whole community supported Lars when so many other people would have laughed him out of town. There is nothing sexual about his relationship with "Bianca" (the doll), in fact she is almost used as a security blanket for Lars' social phobia and actually helps him to experience life and do things he previously would have never done. It is extremely sweet how much the people around him care about Lars. I think this was a good movie, not spectacular but definitely worth a watch. I can identify with Lars so much because of my own social phobias. I wish that I had all of the love and support that he did. 

I think today I am going to watch "Death at a Funeral" or maybe "Michael Clayton". I heard "Michael Clayton" was boring but I love Tilda Swinton so so much that I may tough it out just to see her. And it is the only Best Picture nom that I haven't seen yet.  I'll let you know how those are. 
Also if anyone knows where I can watch "La Vie en Rose" and "The Savages" online - please let me know! I've been wanting to see those for awhile and I don't think they are out on DVD yet.

 Guess who......




I will......




Be going to.....



See in concert......




at Mohegan Sun.....





In April??????





Any ideas????

I'm so freaking excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I haven't posted anything in a long time. It's not that I was too busy. Let's not be silly, shall we? I don't know why. But I have been doing things, which is epic in itself. 

I have been watching a ton of movies online at watch-movies.net. It is very exciting not to have to pay $10.50 to go see something that you're not positive you will like anyway. I know I know...blah blah illegal...blah blah stealing...damnit movies should be cheaper if they want my money. I don't have any money to begin with. 

I have seen some amazing movies, though, that I would have missed out on otherwise. My recent watches:



I give this one 7/10. There were many parts that dragged and other parts that were just plain boring. The movie as a whole is quite good. The acting is absolutely top-notch. 



I give this one 8/10. Although the ending was not satisfying to me, the whole movie was non-stop, break-neck paced action. It was interesting and suspenseful and I think Javier Bardem may have made the most bone-chilling villain since Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lechter. He is nominated for an oscar and he is definitely deserving. 



I give this movie 9/10. I know a lot of people felt "ehhh" about this movie but I loved it. It was sad, funny, touching and beautiful all at the same time. Molly Shannon proved that she can break out of her usual "Mary Katherine Gallegher" weirdness and made the role of Peg a very deep and special one. I loved her character and cheered her on throughout the film. A must-see if you are an animal lover. 



This one is 9/10 also. It is a crime that this one was not recognized for oscar nominations. It is a true crime film (obviously) but it isn't focused on watching people get murdered. It focuses on the thrill of the investigation, of solving puzzles and clues and the chase for the killer. Mark Ruffalo was amazing as was Robert Downey Jr. Excellent movie.



I give this 7.5/10. Wow is it ever a heart breaking and beautiful love story. Do not watch it if you want to remain in a happy mood because this is a sad sad movie. But the story is incredibly moving, a little slow at times but well worth watching. And I love Julie Christie and Olympia Dukakis.



This is a 9/10. This movie is one of the most original and clever that I have seen in a very long time. Ignore the title - it isn't an emo or goth movie or about cutters or anything. It actually is a very cute love story that happens to take place in the afterlife that is specifically for people who have committed suicide. Give this one a chance, I think it is tragically underrated.


Okay I'm done playing movie critic. It's pretty safe to say that I'm obsessed with watching movies right now. I think my next movies are going to be Factory Girl and I'm not There. I'll let you know how they are. 

Let's see what else....

I entered the Kidrobot Mini Munny contest. The prize is $500 Kidrobot bucks so if I win I can feed my vinyl toy addiction and clutter my apartment with it. Well, further clutter it. Here is my contest entry:



Hot y/n? Cross your fingers that I win!!

I have so much shit to do this weekend. And I mean shit, it is nothing I am looking forward to. On Saturday I have to go shopping with my mom for a bridal shower gift for my very spoiled and rich friend. Then sunday is the shower in question. OMG I do not want to go. I could think of a million other uncomfortable and painful things I would rather do than go to this shower. And there will be over a hundred people there. Who the hell has a bridal shower with that many people??? And she invited nearly 150!! Fucking ludicrous. 
I bought a dress wear to this crapfest and now that I tried it on again I think it is ugly. It is a plain wool navy blue dress from the Gap (on sale for $20) and upon further viewing it has potato sack-like qualities that make me look fatter than I am. Bleh. But I don't care. There will be so many people there in far worse fashion choices that I won't even be noticed. Luckily my mom is also invited in case I need someone to fix my hair or spit-clean my face (yeah, she still does that - how gross is that?). 

At least on Friday night I am going to my best friends house for dinner. Her baby had his 1st birthday last weekend which was more fun than I expected. We bought him one of those vsmile baby video game thingys and I have to admit that it was the best present he received. Rob and I are the cool aunt and uncle. Someday I am going to get him drunk and take him to get his first tattoo. 

On a good note I haven't had time to be depressed. And with the weather being as crappy as it has been that is a good thing. And Gypsy finally learned to give her paw on command. After months and months of trying. She's not the brightest bulb in the tanning bed but she's mine and I love her.

 

If you look up pictures of Helen Mirren - sweet old british Dame Helen Mirren - on google you will get 85% nude photos. Of Helen Mirren. Helen Mirrens boobies and bits. All the Helen Mirren you never wanted to see. 
Granted in some (not all) of them she is quite a bit younger. That doesn't make it okay.

Apparently she was in Caligula which I wasn't aware of. That makes up a large percentage of the Helen Mirren smut. 


It's a Fact!! *thumbs up*

 I spent today chained to the TV. There was a Degrassi marathon (guilty pleasure) which I watched way too much of. I watched Dreamgirls again and I didn't even like it that much the first time. Except for Effie. Love Effie. Fucking HATE Beyonce. HATE. But anyway. 
Then Rob and I watched Jeopardy and they had a video category about mexican food and by the time they showed the tamales Rob and I were in the car on the way to Taco Bell. 
Then I watched a show called Firebrand that showed all really cool commercials. IDK it was just cool. 
Best thing I watched tonight:



SUCH a good movie. Ellen Page is incredible in it. So cold, so psychotic, so believable. I never thought I would be cheering for a castration before. I won't explain cause I don't want to spoil it. Her performance gave me chills. I love her so much. 
Now I am watching Music & Lyrics which is another movie I didn't love the first time but I am giving it another chance cause I saw it in the theater with my mother. There is a slight chance she could have ruined it for me. Watching it again - it's cute but that's it. Meh. 

Yesterday was Gypsy's first birthday. She went to the dog park and was sexually assaulted by a dog named Ben. I can't be too mad at Ben though because he looks pretty old and wasn't even doing it right. He was humping the air. 
We tried to play catch with her with her new Chuckit thingy but she won't bring the ball back if it's muddy which it was after 5 minutes. She is too dainty. When we got back she was covered in mud. I washed her with doggy wipes and then we took her to Petco for birthday presents! She got a new rawhide bone and little strips of rawhide called bone buddies. Also snausages. We run out of those quickly because her daddy insists on giving her like 8 at a time which makes it a meal instead of a treat. He is now forbidden from snausage distribution. 

Ick it's 2:30 am. Fuck you insomnia.


 

 Before this week I couldn't even remember the last time I had been to the movies. Now I have been to the movies 3 times in 5 days. WTF, amirite?

We saw 1 Rob movie and 2 Gina movies. First we saw National Treasure 2. I will admit to liking the first NT. This one was fucking terrrrrrible. Only redeeming quality: Helen Mirren. I don't care if she is a proper english Dame who is over 60 - she is hot. So to reiterate: everything about it aside from Helen Mirren was a pile. 
Then we saw Sweeney Todd. I can't rave about it enough. And this is coming from a "purist" who adores the stage version. Like most Tim Burton movies it was appropriately dark and monochromatic, as gory as it should have been and cast perfectly. I think that Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter sang pretty well considering and they did Sondheim justice. I loveloveloved Ed Sanders as Toby. He is such a fantastic singer and is so frigging cute. It was good to see the role played by an actual kid instead of a short man. I wish I weren't so squeamish. I cringed each time a victim dropped through the trap door and crunched onto their head. And the ending was a masterpiece.
Then we saw Juno. Ellen Page and Michael Cera are going to be huge someday soon. This movie was great - just go see it. 

Broadway shows I want to see in 2008:

Gypsy with Patti Lupone
Young Frankenstein
In the Heights
South Pacific
Xanadu

That's all for now. I am sick with some stupid bug and think I am going to throw up again. Awesome.